Aita for telling my sister her life choices have nothing to do with me

Aita for telling my sister her life choices have nothing to do with me. She takes time in other countries instead of coming back home. This is exactly my youngest child experience. My (28F) boyfriend's (28M) sister (38M) divorced her husband last year. She’s dissatisfied with her living conditions. AITA for telling my fiancé that his sister can’t come to our wedding. I refused any and all contact with my sister and ex. My sister refused to go, and after a year or so, Stepdad stopped asking, telling her she's free to join anytime she so wants. I honestly believed that she had already been thinking that was something was up, given that she looks nothing our parents. Before Christmas my mom let her SIL and family stay in the cabin because they lost their house. If you had given in, your mother would have used you more and more as free care for your sister. She's learning video restoration skills, subtitling and translation skills. One of my (F24) friends, Anna (F24) had a baby around 6 months back. It tore on me for a long time. I told my half sister that her father might have been in my life longer than my dad was, but I will never be walked down the aisle by our mom's affair partner and I told her I told her it didn't matter how long ago it was. I couldn’t care less what your sister “took hard. She also has a 4 yo child. Spot on. To say her life is a nightmare is absolutely awful. 3 days ago · My dad is broke as fuck so IF my sister doesn't steal what I am supposed to get, in addition to the things she is willed (and I should bank on her stealing) I get nothing. AITA for telling my SIL I will disown her if she gets pregnant? Not the A-hole. I (29F) have four siblings, Mark (33M), Josh (31M), Eva (29F), and Tony (26M). She never did, until recently. (1) I asked my sister to cancel a date (2) it might make me an asshole as it could be seen as overstepping my bounds and putting my nose where it doesn't belong Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. This includes watching her kid, running errands, helping her wih her small business. After graduating I immediately got a full time job, started climbing the career ladder while getting the Master degree. They had a very messy divorce around three years ago, and both kids choose to live with their dad. UPDATE: Post link. Thanks. Baby changed dynamics because Anna wanted to bring the baby everywhere with her and its Your mother wanted these days free from your sister. My sister, Gillian, is 34f. I (28F) have a sister, Caitlin, who is one year older than me. Our friendgroup is otherwise childless. OP, YTA. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. I haven’t had much of a relationship with my dad, the custody fight was f’king awful and Your sister and her kids are not your responsibility. You might wonder what this has to do with the name of my baby. It sounds like you want her to step back but it will take a while for her to do so when she feels responsible for you in your mother’s stead. I don't know of the father, never met him but I knew I was annoyed. My kids weren't enough. We have our friendship, plus a long time of being couple friends. My mother struggled with drug abuse for the majority of her life, and as a result I have no clue who my father is. Parents would like OP to apologise for getting all up in his sister's business. That's just plain ugly, regardless if your sister sacrificed for your benefit or not. My MIL is a little controlling and FIL is textbook conservative, but overall we have a pretty good relationship. Is this here (fockin redic) because the teenager got someone pregnant and the whole family was moved to a different country to be near them, the 10 year old becoming a mini racist out of nowhere, or the family somehow being SHOCKED that the 10 year old is resentful of her whole life being upended seemingly ADMIN MOD. And yes, their father needs to step up and help his daughters not to be steered apart. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. My sister hated me for treating her mom that would and because she doesn't remember my mom, or remember the times when I wasn't always there, she always refused to believe that I do and she tells me her mom is my mom in all the ways that matter. AITA for telling my friend her baby is the reason no one wants her around? Not the A-hole. But for right now, she says she wants them to live with the consequences so hasn’t had any contact with them. Sister is the only sibling OP has, and dammaging this relationship will have a huge impact on her life. You supported them for 2 years out of the goodness of your heart, thinking you were helping your sister set herself up for a better future. My dad had seen her comment and said we should talk it out like family. A few months later, my mothers boyfriend cheated on her for the second time and she finally broke up with him. Your sister does still have a chance to see her kids again, BUT only when the kids are ready/want to see her. But im not. You have every right to say no, but do it openly and honestly. Glad my life choices of helping family have such a pay off, and glad I saw this coming so I could attempt to care for myself, not like that gets me far in this economy Story repost: AITA for telling my sister I will never accept her or her life choices : r/TwoHotTakes. I very bluntly said because she was nothing to me, she never had been and never Hopefully the sister can truly get clean long-term and change her life, and maybe years from now they can reconnect after she’s demonstrated she’s really changed- IF OP wants that. Even if aunt and uncle will not change their behaviour, at least she can tell her sister that she tried, which can make a big difference. She was rather rebellious as a teenager and essentially pissed her life down the drain so as a result, my parents are extra strict with me, despite the fact I've never even given them a reason to be. Hey, People have asked for updates so I shall offer for anyone who cares to know. This is a very big step in my life. The biggest comfort I get when I get sad is knowing my mom made her choices and it’s not my responsibility as her child to pity her. What you don’t get is that with all of you putting her down telling her how she never grew up where her family is will never be home. 4. Growing up, we were dirt poor. It wasnt interruption to take care of baby. I told her that wouldn't work for me. Well, let me explain. “I can’t figure out why my daughter will have nothing to do with me. She went to college for home design and has slowly been redoing our house for our mom. Stop trying to make your children little models of the two of you. Pretty early I realized my parents were hoping I would want to still be part of the baby's life but I wanted nothing to do with the baby my sister conceived while sleeping with my husband (now ex) as I lay in hospital losing my own pregnancy. This has nothing to do with you or your family. They like traditional names, but they have to deal with the fact that potential future grandchildren probably won't have traditional names, and if they want to have a good relationship with said children and with your sister they will need to accept it. Mostly because, all my childhood, she would "bully" me, telling me how ugly I am everyday, and I would get yelled at by my parents if I said anything to make her stop (they would also yell at me if she did anything wrong, because she would Always blame me, and everyone (mom,dad,big sis) would always take her side since she's NTA - she’s 18 not 12, she’s old enough to know the truth. Now those choices are having unwanted consequences. You tried to not tell her but she pressed, so you gave her the truth that she wanted, not your fault your sister can’t take what she asked for and your mom is wrong to think the way she did. That is not something her children should have to deal with, it has nothing to do with them. My sister said she can’t possibly be expected to work at the same time, so parents immediately changed their mind and funded her life until end of Master degree. I would post OPs post from here except I would change the last sentence from AITA to "have a nice life and never contact me again. . Like others have pointed out, OP took Brendan's side immediately without talking to his sister. They were handed every advantage in life while their sister was left to struggle through on her own. The reason I feel like I could be TA here is nothing to do with him or my mom but my half sister. Even though we helped my family in law financially, I refuse to help my own sister after her divorce, mainly because she was horrible to me after marrying a rich man. Fan fiction is suitable for whoever loves it, whether they're 15 or 95 years old. We had a family meeting at my parents' home about 2 weeks after the original thing went down. Of course YTA. Both parents were frustrated with my sister when they got remarried to others because she wasn't warmer with them and their families than she was with other new people/strangers in her life. She's been vegan for about 3 years and is quite passionate about it. My older sister would literally make my life hell and hurt me. Recently, she has started living with us. Obviously you are hurting from your sister being put ahead of you. She doesn’t. We’ve had a beautiful relationship for 5 years, the only real problem is his family. I’m sorry your sister is treating you this way but congratulations on your accomplishment. And it's not likely to be that she's a secret Jane's Addiction fan either. That's some straight-up Jerry Springer stuff. He had Josh learn violin at 4 yo and made him play for Backstory, my sister has two teenagers (16 and 17), who live almost full time with their dad. NTA. You were the one who was there and your mom made her wishes known and you followed them end of. She was and never will be welcome there. No-Win-3546. ” For two people that are so very” smart” you both sure are stupid. Subreddit Announcement AITA for telling my sister to stop having kids when she is poor? My sister (43F) is a single mother to four kids, she recently announced her 5th child. He wanted his first son to be a doctor, so Mark had to work all the time. My (f30) sister (26), Millie, has been in a string of bad relationships all her life. My sister’s girlfriend seemed like a nice girl, but she was very stand off-ish. My sister and I both brought our mom gifts, and my mom also got me flowers and chocolate to celebrate my first Mother’s Day. Very kind of you to sell it for that price to someone who will likely very much Okay, so, I (18F), and my little sis (15F) never really got along. If you prefer uninterrupted conversations, call when the baby is asleep. ” “I’m just giving her what she wanted. We were all excited to meet her. I'm 17f. She is quite spoiled and can't do much on her own, and so she is always asking my bf for help with nearly everything. UPDATE: AITA for kicking out my parents for never telling me about my half-sister. My family wanted to meet my sister’s girlfriend, and insisted that she brought her over. My (f30) older sister, Aoife (f34) have moved back to our home town recently. The reason for this was because my sister was extremely over bearing on them. I’d much rather have my life without having a biological family and the one I created on my own instead! Judgement_Bot_AITA. It's probably really better for the OP to change schools, or even better to move to another city (if possible). She went out of her way to hurt me to show she isn’t my sister. Redditors decided that the OP’s older sister made her choices in life. She lives at my place that isn’t baby proofed and I asked her to do a bunch of chores around the place. ADMIN MOD. We have made the choice to not include children at our event. ” “NTA at all. I haven't even been moody with you, but you certainly have. She’s a new mom and a 2 month old needs attention pretty much all the time when awake. After an intense argument over my choices once again, I told her that I wouldn’t take advice from someone with no social life, no job, no schooling, and that she should get a life. Send sister a quick text message… “I understand your feelings about the situation. She wanted to share her feelings with you,her sister, and asked for empathy, not "pity". AITA for telling my mom I hate her? Not the A-hole. ” ~ missy-63. She wrote: "AITAH for telling my aunt I want nothing to do with my sister?" I (26F) have been no contact with my sister Cheryl (24F) and mother (57F) since I turned 18. The marriage did not work out. I just want people to keep in mind that the sister isn’t an evil person necessarily. The "golden child syndrome" made it easy for your sister to make poor decisions and rebel. Basically “AITA for giving my sister a negative opinion that she did not ask for, did not need, and could do nothing constructive with?” Why is this even a question? You literally told someone who was excited about a personal choice that they made for themselves, not to be excited bc of your own personal preferences and biases. They weren't magically enough for me to get better, and people tell me that makes me a shit mom. r/TwoHotTakes. About 8-months ago, my wife's sister Ann (29F) went through a pretty traumatic time. I have had people tell me how horrible I am, and how their child was enough to make them pull through their depression. Not the A-hole POO Mode. I didn't know how to react when my grandmother asked me why I chased my sister away and why I made things hard for her, so I just told my sister that I want nothing to do with her. So I (15F) have 3 younger siblings. This has began to affect my husband's relationship with his brother now and I feel bad but at the same time, all of my in-laws are happy I said something to Any time money is involved, you have to make choices that secure your lifestyle. They odds are not good for them, not good at all. Doesn't seem like they lifted a finger to help her either. It's so fucking easy to just tell OP she's being "immature and hurtful" when they never had to deal with the shit she did. r/AmITheAsshole voting guide here only one. Me and Eva are fraternal twins. I told her she can hire a babysitter but she doesn't want to spend money when I can do it for free. " Then the block hammer falls for mom, sister and sister BF. Feb 25, 2024 · Your sister raised you while also dealing with your mother dying. NoNarwhal5719. YTA for "They would have a better life in foster care". We're in our mid to late twenties now, living in the same city. Whether her sister will All that to say I am sorry you had to go through that alone. I still have not talked to her. These were names we promised to use whenever we had a baby, and we had planned to have at least 2 children. Now, my mom uses her pregnancy as an excuse for EVERYTHING. Instead, you berated her, telling her that she had no right to feel stressed. NTA - The 9 year old remembers and is still hurt by his mom leaving them. 12 votes, 58 comments. For the most part she was glued to my sister. This has been going on for years and you had enough. Not the A-hole. Something is likely going on in her life that you and her dad/your mom aren't aware of. I’m 16f I’ve a half sister (29) from my mothers first marriage we had a good relationship given the age For Mother’s Day, we all went to my parents’ house to celebrate. I am not trans, but my parents were very controlling when it came to money and my life choices (I have never lived a high-risk lifestyle, nor did I ever make “bad” choices). I said “you’ll probably find out that you have a different dad than you’ve always thought. Absolutely agree. I told my sister I love her, but I won't let her be used this way and that if she and my other siblings ever want to cut ties from our narcissistic mother, they can reach out to my best friend. Jan 30, 2024 · My wife (38F) and I (39M) have been married for 12 years and have 3 kids (10, & 7-year-old twins). I can afford to help her, I just don’t want to, and I think that might make me an AH. This caused some awkward Asshole. I really respect parents who actually stick to what they said. My sister is enjoying her autonomy for the first time in her life and while I'm normally fully supportive of her choices… I don't understand what I did wrong and I probably did ruin her life without knowing it, but just thinking that I unknowingly made her left, kind of hurts. But it was frustrating and my mom got angry when I said I was going to reach out to my sister. If your sister is being admitted, it's because she NEEDS to be there, and her needs are significant enough that they trump what is likely a very extensive queue. That pissed me off so I told her I'm not going to sacrifice my hobbies just so that she can have a free babysitter. The only way my mother could have known is if my sister was telling her, or she was using my sister's account to go through mine. AITA For telling my sister I hated her for redecorating? Not the A-hole. The FB thing, I agree not posting drama but I would make an exception in this case. That is not lost on me, I recognize She stopped responding to me after I said their attitude was hurtful and started telling my MIL that I was hurting her "again" and making up stories about us kicking them out of our house. We've been dealing with this with my mums narcissistic parents; they've been saying since they were in their fifties that they were old, that they couldn't be expected to do anything physical, and that my mother (scapegoat child) should be a better daughter to them as they'll die soon, and 'be forced' to leave everything my uncle (golden child, who has stolen over 100k plus a She was giving me nothing reasonable, at least to me since I do not think Alannah is exactly an easy name to be bullied over, so I told her her reaction to the name was over the top and totally rude to my husband and to me. The good side is that he wasn’t crying anymore or mad at my mom, the bad side was that he was really pissed off at his parents. UPDATE) AITA for telling my parents they don’t have a daughter : r/AmItheAsshole. I understand that she lacks control over her own life, but I don’t think it’s right to push those insecurities onto other people in your life. I 19m met my boyfriend Luke, 19m, in high-school we were friends for about a year before we started dating during our sophomore year, we kept our relationship hidden seen as neither or us were out and we only told our close friends. In case this story gets deleted/removed: AITA for calling my sister unlovable and saying she would die alone. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Read this before contacting the mod team. This year, it's my younger sister's turn. I’m (26F) getting married to my (28M) Fiancé in April. I was meant to start boarding at school for those two years, but last minute my dad said I couldn’t since it wasn’t fair to Emily (basically him, because he didn’t want to put up with her). Expect to hear the baby in the background, sister interrupting conversation to care for the baby, etc. AITA I want nothing to do with BFF’s cheating husband. I am asking you to understand my feelings about this very important day for me. We all respect her choices and make sure there are a good variety of vegan options whenever we have family gatherings. I still wanted to unalive myself, even while holding my baby. Throwaway, some details changed, mobile so formatting, etc. Every year, our family has a reunion where different members host. I would have said much, much worse to your sister, I promise you. My mom told her it was mine and she looked after it for me until I was an adult and she wanted the family to be safe. I let my mom know the situation and she told me that that was “kind of a jerk move” because I dropped a bomb and left them to clean up the mess. She and only she is the one who hurt your sister. My sister is a very accomplished woman and a lot of men She was giving me nothing reasonable, at least to me since I do not think Alannah is exactly an easy name to be bullied over, so I told her her reaction to the name was over the top and totally rude to my husband and to me. Him seeing his mom will only upset him/make him angry. My older sister is, like, super into decor. I’m grounded with no phone so I’m using an old phone with 20% battery so this has to be rushed so excuse the grammar. My husband and I had a boy and a girl name chosen from pretty much the time we started trying for a baby. I want to thank everyone who said go talk to my parents. They would not be better off in foster care. She dates unemployed losers, f*ck boy types who don't want anything serious, or men who are already in relationships. AITA for telling my sister she is really privileged for a mom? Asshole. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: 1: Disregarding everyone else’s feelings in the situation so that my half sister could know the truth 2:Actually going out of my way to tell my half sister the truth and possibly destroying her family in the process. r/AmItheAsshole. Something that needs to be addressed. Omg, yes. I'm getting those vibes from OP, make her feel like she is dumb and stupid so everything actually goes his way. She's paying for it all so everyone has been super grateful. That's downright cold! You need to turn in your southern family creds! r/AmItheAsshole. So she not only pressured you to take her, she promised her that you would take her in order to force your hand. That’s alot, OP your sister probably did a lot more for you then you will know. Do take care and have a great year. She told me it was crazy how I made it seem like my mom did more than hers or that I am closer to my AITA for telling my sister that she chose the life that she has and she shouldn't complain about it? To start this off, I'm going to give you some context as to what she did and why I don't pity her. My sister lives low income so having multiple kids is too much money in this economy, I have 3 kids myself but I work a good Me and her have gotten along since my husband first introduced me to her and I actually consider her my sister. AITA for telling my sister I will never accept her or her life choices. AITA (F30) for telling my sister (f26) her poor life choices aren't my problem. •. Her choices are hers, and she needs to accept the consequences of her choices. secretaccount235. You have done nothing wrong. Her 'ghosting' is likely evidence of her mental health and has nothing to do with her feelings about you. She kept to herself, and didn’t speak much to my parents and me. I begrudgingly agreed. Your sister is doing something that brings her joy, and which preserves a tiny bit of human history. Kacey's father was also heavily into drugs and only stuck around for 3 years. ”. For the past two weeks I've been at my dads. She was supposed to get married to her fiancée but last second he cancelled the wedding and she had nowhere to live since he was her support system financially. She found out she was pregnant with her long-time BF of 6 years. If you feel so bad for her, take her in yourselves. You make the effort for those who support you. The brothers piss me off almost more than the parents do. She doesn’t really know anyone here apart from our family so when my husband and I were having a small get together with his work mates, I decided to invite her (along with a few of my female friends). My sister is pretty use to having a good life. ago. Be very careful - putting the blame on your sister leaves you vulnerable to the crap influence of your parents. I think it’s also worth noting that I had an ectopic pregnancy that ended up rupturing three years ago and we’ve been trying to have a baby ever I told her "You need to stop bitching at me when I'm literally just being a pregnant lady. About 3 months ago, my bff called me devastated. Kara knows she’ll forgive them eventually. The other children are wayyy to young to understand what is going on if they were to see her. Her and her husband started dating freshman year in college, and were married about a year and a half ago. AITA for blaming my sister when I got nothing for my birthday? Not the A-hole. That's the first thing I did, I went to their place and I tried to talk to them. Which is understandable. My daughter’s still mad at her family, she talked to them a couple times before stopping communication. Growing up, our father was very hard on us. Playing babysitter to her became so unbearable, I eventually “ran away” from home to live with my That just made her more angry, and she asked me what she would find out. We've continued the tradition, but it's only once or twice a year, which increased during lockdown. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have Unless your step-sister is secretly a cat, there is likely some reason why she's been stealing. She gave my grandfather a shirt to give me. It’s unfortunate, but its so common when it comes to… anything. She accused you of being a bad mom, attempted to bully your husband, then acts all imperious, like she has the right to tell you what to do and that you don’t get a choice and you have to help her. I know because I’m the one that caught them one day and asked my mom about who the lady dad was kissing was and kicked off the whole divorce afterwards. She can find a job to support herself. MOD. My sister called it, and she evidently had a bone to pick. " After this, I went to pack my bags and me and my fiancé left to Feb 9, 2024 · In a popular post on the AITAH subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her aunt the truth about her sister. Staying with a cheater means she will be cheated on, she could choose to leave. My (17F) dad cheated on my mom when I was 5. We are from a working class family and she is the only person with a bachelor’s but she also expects a lot too. She was the kind of mum who believed kids should have no privacy and she She has a life she loves and doesn’t have to truly interact with any of you. But for now OP can’t be blamed for not wanting anything to do with her. Ever since then my half sister has been asking questions about it and wondering why she never goes there, etc. Things have been fine to a point, and I definitely appreciate them taking me in during my time of need. She then got mad and said golf is stupid and I should put my step-daughter over my siblings. Many of you were suggesting therapy for her so at least she already had that down. My sister is my village and I’m going to see her walk across that stage come hell or high water. Aggressive_Complex. It seems like you're just bitter because your husband who doesn't even love you wants no children and you're taking it out on me. Well, I had to leave for the vacation (I’m actually writing on the flight lol) and my dad and stepmom have been blowing up my phone. Hello reddit. Then, when I would cry, I would be called a spoiled baby. My mom doesn’t work since she’s pregnant again and my dad works construction 5am to 6pm so he isn’t home that often. It wasn't planned, but that didn't lessen the heartbreak when she lost the pregnancy at 10-weeks. Now she's an adult and has made some choices my parents do not agree with and she told them via text instead of face to face. Story repost: AITA for telling my sister I will never accept her or her life choices : r/TwoHotTakes. Go to AmItheAsshole. To be fair she has worked hard for it. In other words, your sister is very fragile. Our mother was a SAHM but she was emotionally absent. I (33f) live with my brother (32m) and his new wife (34f). Even if I have to step away for a minute when he gets rowdy, it doable. Oh no If there was any reddit post I wish wasn't real it's this one. Don't sugar coat it so you can live w/ a clear conscience. 9M, 7F and 2F. I told my sister who has nowhere else to go that if she doesn’t like the place she lives in, she should rather leave. She makes me cook alot for my siblings YTA- I predict 10 years from now you’ll be posting. This left me in the house full time with Emily. I told her she might not love the name but she did not need to go so hard on us for giving our daughter the name. /s. She told me at least her boyfriend was there for her when I chose my father over her in my teens, etc. ADMIN. Specifically she constantly complains about being tired. We did a family call, and after she gave her sob story, she asked why we couldn’t act like sisters. I could not imagine. Really fun for a little kid , let me tell you. They’re furious at me for “telling him before he was ready”. Her weakness doesn’t mean you have to hide the truth. All of us used to hang out a lot before the baby was born. It’s simply our choice for our I grew up in a single-parent household with my mother and my half sister "Kacey" who is 7 years younger than me. Also knowing that it’s not as bad as it could be, I could be him. Asshole. Your family that is so horrified that she will suffer can help out if they want to. Those names stayed "the names" throughout Liz went to my parents and accused me of treating her as subhuman. Your parents are being weird. That was when I had enough and decided to officially go NC. • 2 mo. Your parents failed both of you. My bff (28f) and I (28f) have a friendship that goes back 20 years. OP wants them to choose him, sister is not asking the parents to choose between their children. Your sister has only herself to blame for her life. sf ym ke jo py th sp tz so ry